Let’s Replay: Masks of Mayhem

Looking back at my own website, I see that I played Masks of Mayhem in late 2017 (two and a half years ago) and found it “okay I guess”  Well, let’s see what I think of it today on a single playthrough.

I’m apparently the king of some unimpressive region, and my court wizard informs me that he and the other Council of Elders have sat on their hands while an evil sorcerer brewed up trouble. She’s now making up the 12th and final magical mask and golem, with which she’ll start wrecking up the place.

Question: Why did they just sit and watch as she built 11 golems and it turned into an emergency?

Question: Shouldn’t we send in the army?

Answer: Shut up and pack 10 Provisions and turn to page 1 already.

My starting stats: 8 / 15 / 8   Oh boy, this is gonna be a short adventure.

I travel north in a cutscene as far as Lake Nekros — oh, that’s nice. This is the furthest I have ever traveled, “the end of civilization” and “unknown to the people of Arion”. And yet I’m told there’s a kingdom up here, our neighbors to the north, so clearly it’s not “the end” of civilization… What the hell kind of provincial so-called king am I, anyway?

Anyway, I am given the choice of crossing the lake in a boat but I remember how that works out. It’s the only FF that I know, where you can literally die on your very first choice. So, let’s go into the forest instead.

I hike throughout the day, until it’s time to camp out. I have dinner, and I sleep well and I dream of Kevin. That’s the blacksmith back in town, and people say I have a crush on him but I’m totally not gay, I just dream about Kevin and the dreams are really nice, but kind of confusing too. Kevin is super nice and we get along really well and he has a great, cut blacksmith’s body. Yeah, you know the kind I mean. But then I wake up and I’m being molested by tentacles and not Kevin (he would have asked, and they would have been consentacles; hm yeah, Kevin’s hands are strong but gentle… no! wake up!). I grab my sword and fight them off, taking only 4 points of damage before slaying the terrible beast. I am then completely surprised when a ghost appears from the lake, and thanks me for putting him to rest by killing the tentacle beast. Well, not quite to rest — he says that he’ll come back to help me one time and gives me his page number. Well, that’s kind of cool, to have a ghost owe me one.

The next day as I continue through the forest, I run into a party of wood elves. We keep it friendly, though, and they take me to their village to meet their chief and their shaman. They have also observed the sorcerer’s plans with some concern, but they won’t help because “that would interfere with free will, and free will is what makes a hero”. But before I can get in their faces about what a load of crap that is, they teleport me away. What a bunch of jerks.

Anyway, I’m in the woods and lost in a thick fog. It’s cold and I lose 2 more stamina, bringing me down to 9 left. I continue hiking…

I make my way to an abandoned mine. Well, abandoned except for the hermit who lives in the caretaker’s shack. He mumbles and raves incoherently, and gives me a royal scepter that he had for some reason. This is just bizarre, and totally seems like a Necessary Quest Item. And now it’s time to check out the mine itself. I have no business being in a mine, and no reason to suspect that the sorcerer’s plans rely on this mine, but it’s a FF book so there’s probably a necessary item such as Ye Olde Magicke Pipe Cleaner in there because that’s just how these things work, like that scepter.

I turn right and walk down the tunnel, past a side tunnel and some scraps of copper, and find a room flooded by water. It’s not large though, and I could surely get a running jump and… fail my luck roll and slip on some lichen, causing me to fall into the pool where I am instantly eaten by a snake.

Well, that was random.

I guess my adventure ends here.

 

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