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Chewed up by the Fangs of Fury (Part 1)

I haven’t posted in some six weeks, and for the most part I’ve been distracted by a vacation trip and by playing the Mass Effect trilogy again. But, I have also stayed on topic here playing Fangs of Fury. So here comes my second attempt.

The back story: Our city is under siege by Bad Guys including of course A Bad Wizard. Our city is normally protected by fire-breathing dragon statutes that would incinerate their whole army in a moment… if someone hadn’t put out the magic fire. So they need someone to take this magic Torch to the volcano named Fangs of Fury, and re-ignite it. That should put the “gave you turned it off and back on?” to the dragons and save the day.

Skill 7
Stamina 17
Luck 7

Oh geez. Obviously they are sending their most expendable jerk out into the siege to scout around and get him killed off. The best they can expect from me is one less soldier to feed. That’s not a good feeling, but I’ll do my best!

Then they slap a bracelet on my wrist that will kill me when the enemy has invaded the citadel, and which gives me a countdown of how that’s going. I should be insulted by this, except that a) now I feel like Snake Plisken in Escape From New York and he was awesome, and b) it’s flattering that they think I will survive long enough for the enemy to complete the invasion.

They send me down the tunnel and I can at least follow the instructions to turn left and climb through the rubble. I dig my way out, directly into a goblin who starts chewing me out for getting my dumb ass buried in a trench. I stammer some sort of reply and somehow say that I was deserting my platoon, which lands me in the brig while they fetch The Inquisitor.

Turns out that the jailĀ  isn’t all bad, though. There’s a monk imprisoned here who tells me about White Cubes which I’ll see on the artwork (that’s so meta!) thus unlocking that mini-game for me, and he gives me the name of The Religion That Cannot Be Named. So that’s a big win – probably.

He then bends the bars and all of us prisoners take off. I am immediately recaptured, and presumed to be a conscript for The Irregulars, and sent to join my new-found platoon. What a bunch of miserable losers: unskilled conscripts, no equipment, no idea what’s going on. Come to think of it, maybe this is the place for me. But then the captain and his goons show up and shake me down for my gold. When they find out I don’t have any, they decide to kick my ass instead. And they do — I take 8 points of damage out of my 17. I limp away and eat some lunch to heal up, then get marched off into battle.

As one of the knights approaches, I turn on the goblin next to me and kill him so he won’t kill the knight. In a brilliant show of gratitude, the knight then kills himself in front me me, just as the captain of The Irregulars tackles me and drags me off to be executed. So much for being a hero! I wake up with an executioner standing over me, waiting for the signal to end my adventure here.

…and the cliffhanger…


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First published March 6, 2023. Last updated March 6, 2023.