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This time they sent a better assassin

As you saw, my last two plays of Space Assassin were short and disastrous because I had a skill of 7, crummy armor, and 1 money to buy only a basic gun. Now that they’re thinned out the less-promising trainees, this time they sent someone qualified.

Skill 10 / Stamina 21 / Luck 12 / Armor 12 / Assault blast and a grenade

All right! This time I should make some progress, thanks to feasible stats and to the two chumps, err I mean scouts, who went ahead of me to map out a few things.

So, I space walk to the emergency hatch and find a big ol’ security door and two unlocked maintenance hatches to bypass the door. Nice security, guys. This time I decide to try the left-hand panel. Nope. A bundle of cables falls out, I test my luck and don’t get injured, and then it says “nope, try that other panel” Well, no points for originality here I guess.

Down the tunnel, past a hatch, and burst from the vent to terrorize two scientists. They cower and I spare their lives, moving onward. I pop into a small mess hall and score some Clif bars, then arrive at a security checkpoint. The robot asks for my identification, so I (get this, it’s super clever) say “Here’s my identification!” as I pull out my assault blaster. Ba-zap! Ka-pow! Pew-pew! And it’s a soldering ruin. I continue chuckling to myself about how clever that one-liner was. heh heh “Here’s my identification” and then I pull out my gun. heh heh

I poke my head into the room it was guarding, and find that it’s a laboratory. I am allowed to take any TWO of a) energy/healing pills, b) a canister of nerve gas, or c) a dead crab. I’m intrigued by a dead crab, though, so I grab it and the nerve gas. I can’t take all three because of space and stealth, because tucking four pills into my pocket takes the same space as a dead crab. Five inventory slots, but no…

Still grumbling and fuming about this, I walk right past a door that says “Danger! Squirrels!” because that’s just weird, and find myself at a dead end with two mysterious buttons. Uhm… Push… that one? And the door slides open, revealing a cleaning crew of a carrot-human hybrid and two cat-kobold hybrids. Alien life, am I right? They get a few good scratches in, but I finish them off and pop an energy pill (perfectly safe and legal! all natural Benzedrine tm!) to catch my breath.

Further down the hall, I come to a vast tunnel with a landing sticking out into it. As I step out, an antigravity field grabs me (anti-grabbity!) and carries me down to a second landing, where I get off and head through a door. Wild public transit! Five stars, would try again. The door opens into an indoor pool, or rather an indoor pool full of some sort of mechanical gear. I wade in to see what sort of gear it is, and am whisked away by a sudden current (in a pool). I swirl under the water but I’m not drowning because I was wearing my space suit, and the current washes me up… on a plain somewhere. Forest that way. Hills that way. No sign of the river.

Did it flush me down the space toilet, all the way down to the planet again? Or is this a holodeck program?

I’ll tell you tomorrow. 🙂


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First published November 20, 2023. Last updated November 20, 2023.