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I Are Deadpool! Part 1

Can you believe it? Me, a super-hero! Thanks to some messed up people with a wacky sense of humor, YOU ARE DEADPOOL is a real comic that exists. I’m not nearly cool enough and sassy enough to be this smart-assed anti-hero, but let’s give it a spin…

DP starts by introducing me to the concept of gamebooks, where I need to turn to another panel instead of reading straight (ugh; tuturial levels!). Then he invites me to grab some scissors and cut up page 10 of the comic, because get serious, this comic is never gonna be worth anything anyway. Then I’m attacked by an 18-inch hoagie sandwich… a combat roll. Four pages in and my side hurts from laughing.

All righty, on to the adventure.

We have a flashback to remind us, that we’ve been hired to steal a time helmet from the Roxxon Corporation. The front looks heavily guarded. so we sneak around back and find a sewage pipe. Perfect! Well, fine by me anyway. DP isn’t at all pleased to crawl through a tunnel full of crap, then to force his way up a toilet pipe. But hey, it’s my first day of being Deadpool, so cut me some slack, Deadpool.

I step out into the main hallway mini-game and BEEP! BEEP! there goes the alarm. No joke, rolled a 1 on my first roll. In storms The Grasshopper to kick my butt. It’s tense: he rolls 3d6 to my 2d6, and I barely made it: a 10 tied to 10. I cut off his head on one swell foop, and move on to the storage basement. I find a bunch of random items I can take, and the MacGuffin Time Helmet ™.

Naturally, we put it on and press the button.


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First published September 24, 2019. Last updated December 15, 2020.