Stealer of Souls, screw this I’m cheating (part 1)
Since my last post, I have played Stealer of Souls two more times but rolled shitty stats: 8 / 14 / 11 and 8 / 18 / 8 Both times, that damn bird on page 1 killed me. Clearly something’s wrong with my dice that they can’t roll higher than a 2 if it’s for Skill, and evidently even with an 8 Skill the bird rolls higher than me every damn time. This is getting really old. Obviously if I’m going to get any further than the beach it’s time to set myself to 12 / 24 / 12 and maybe have a fair shake.
So let’s review the plot:
A wizard named Mordraneth has abducted another wizard named Alsander, because Alsander was plotting to kill Mordraneth and came up with a means to do it. So I’m being hired to rescue this would-be murderer from another wizard.
You know what? Hold on a sec. Let’s talk about this.
What is wrong with wizards, that half of these books are about wizards being abducted? Don’t they have fireballs and teleportation and stuff? Even just randomly abducting people off the street, you’d get the occasional black belt in karate or someone with a whistle and pepper spray. But wizards, just helpless until you rescue them – then they whip out the “I’ll just teleport home, thanks!” spiel while you finish off the boss fight.
And Alsander was gonna kill Mordraneth anyway, so this was self defense. Good for Mordraneth, right? Wrong. I have a strong desire to kill Mordraneth too, because it would look awesome on my sword-for-hire resume. Being hired for the job is just icing on the cake, someone else paying my travel costs as I do what I was gonna do anyway.
I’m not feeling very heroic here, I gotta say.
Anyway… onto the boat and let’s fast forward through the parts I’ve already done a half-dozen times.
- Page 1 giant bird attacking the boat.
- Bypass giant crab, land on beach, meet a friendly shirtless giant. ( ho ho ho!)
- Meet a talking lizard, kill another bird, get a pearl and a medallion.
- Tree sprite tries to steal my gold, and gives me some magic meth as an apology
- And then at a crossroads, decorated to north and south with bird feather and bloody skulls and the like
Now we can start the damn game.